I am my Happiness

Unfortunately, one of the biggest relationship mistakes also happens to be one of the most tempting things to do if you are in a relationship: Making your partner responsible for your happiness and blaming him or her when you are not!

It is a little scary to listen to many of the most popular songs on the radio. So often, the message is: You make me happy; I’d be lost without you; you are my world, or other, similar types of messages which take away all the power and responsibility to make yourself happy and put it on someone else. Wow! If you think about it, that’s an enormous amount of pressure to put on another person. It’s like saying, I can’t always be happy myself, but if you're going to be with me, you’d better make me happy!

On the surface, this concept seems rather obvious, but how many of us really do take full responsibility for our own happiness? How often do we say to ourselves, ‘Why can’t my wife be different?’ or ‘It makes me so mad when my husband acts that way’, or ‘I’m stressed because my husband works too many hours’. When you examine these (and thousands of other) very common statements and thoughts, it becomes clear that they suggest, however subtly, that somehow, someone other than you is responsible for your happiness. The thinking is like this: If only he (or she) were different, I’d be happy. They have to change. Not me, no way. It’s them! We’ve found that if you believe that the answer to your unhappiness lies in someone else’s hand, you’re in for trouble. Even if they manage to accommodate you with occasional changes, you’ll come to rely on these changes for your continued happiness. Eventually, you’ll be let down and will be discouraged. You’ll be left with that helpless and dependent ‘It’s his/her fault’ feeling.

Save yourself...

Life is a buffet of endless choices that is already available to us. Everyday we choose what we want to experience this day. Whether we turn right or left at the end of the driveway is not dictated to use by necessity, responsibility or anything else. It is a conscious choice.

The fact that we do have responsibilities only leads us to make certain choices that reflect how we feel about those responsibilities.

If we choose to experience them we make a choice at the end of the driveway that says “I am responsible.” If we do not wish to accept the responsibility that we have created, we simply make a choice that says “I am not responsible.” Our actions represent our thoughts — it is a physical symbol of how we are thinking in the moment.

We cannot demonstrate a thought physically that does not demonstrate our true thoughts unless we are insane, and even then there is a thought behind the action.

The world is perfect the way it is. The circumstances and conditions of the world are our thoughts made manifest. The world is the way it is because that is how we want it to be. If it is not, then it represents our global insanity — our thinking is not working.

But the world does not have to be changed, we do! If what we are experiencing is not what we desired or want to experience, then there is something that is not working for us, and it needs to be corrected.

If we consider ourselves highly evolved persons and we have created a world that we do not wish to experience, there is something wrong with our thinking. We have clearly not demonstrated our superiority as a collective world body. There are only three possible exceptions to this — we may indeed be insane, or it was our desire to experience this world as it is now. The other possibility is that we created a situation that has huge benefits and opportunities for growth.

It is easy to pollute, but much more difficult to correct the problem. It may be our subconscious desire to expand even more quickly in order to save ourselves from the damage that we have done. When people have a common goal, they begin to work more effectively together and change comes quickly. Reaction to crisis or disaster brings unity in
thought, and the combined thought process brings changes faster.

If humanity sees itself as lost, the global circumstances are reflecting that thought. In order to restore order chaos is created, and the chaos demands more thought energy and unity to bring order once again. It is clear that as a race of people we have not really evolved very much spiritually.

So at a subconscious level we are now creating circumstances in our environment that are going to give us the opportunity to learn from our mistakes, and bring out in each one of us, a whole new era of thoughtful enlightenment that is life affirming.

The circumstances of the world, natural disasters, poverty, cruelty, inequity, and war are not punishments from God or anyone else. They were created by us individually and en masse.
They are opportunities for growth, and greater cooperation and spiritual enlightenment. When we rise from our own insanity, and see that which is so obvious, we will be able to change whatever we might have done.

The world is the way it is, because it is what we wanted to experience at some level of consciousness.

We now have another opportunity to change it, if we no longer wish to experience it in its present condition, if we pass that responsibility onto others or God, then we will be waiting a very long time for them to change it. The creator does not perform miracles. He gave humanity to ability to do them for itself. Miracles are simply thoughts manifested, that do not reflect current conditions.

The world does not need a miracle unless we believe that it does. Then, and only then will we have the power to change it. If disasters and wars are the wake-up call for a world that it has gone insane, then we are now in the position to acknowledge it, and alter our thoughts to manifest the world we desire to experience.

It is not necessary to change the world from what it is. This probability will always exist. It is within each of us to change our thoughts about the world, and how we want to experience it, and manifest the world that we desire into our present reality.

Leave this world alone and create something new. Put all your efforts and energy into thoughts of a new world that you wish to experience, and you will create it. You cannot save the world and the world does not need saving.

All that you need to do is save yourself from yourself.

SOURCE : TOI 19.11.06

Love is your birthdate !

(Add ur birthdate digits to get ur number...)

Love Number 1: You may have many relationships in your early adult years, which may pose difficulty in settling down with one partner. Sexually vigorous, you can bring a highly charged emotion to a sexual situation that is irresistible. Anyone involved with you must be prepared to accommodate it before making final commitments. You are very status conscious in your attitude to courtship and marriage. As it is not easy to find both beauty and brains, it takes a long time to find the right sexual and intellectual chemistry to match your ideal.

Love Number 2:
Psychologically, you are a private person. As domestic life is very important to you, the best type of partner for you is someone with a lot of common sense. Sexual passion may take second place to respect and affection. Generally faithful, you expect fidelity in return.You regard promises and vows sacred. In your heart, you yearn for the romance of the past.

Love number 3: Having sex is as characteristic of you as brushing your teeth, and lovemaking gives you a natural high. You get down to business in your mind real fast. Your best loved positions are athletically harrowing. If you are a woman, you will only deviate from the ‘moral’ path because of a basic dissatisfaction in marriage. An extra marital fling is likely to be a very serious affair. Often attracted to the glamorous types you begin by being idealistic in marriage but monotony can wreck it.

Love Number 4: You attract plenty of sexual interest despite your rather cold exterior. You are not interested in romance and sex for its own sake. Falling in love is always a serious business for you. You often marry for all the wrong reasons. Whether the sexual chemistry is there or not, harmony is not guaranteed. When you are happy and fulfilled with your mate, there is never any question of any infidelity.

Love Number 5: You are adventurous and can get romantically involved many times before making a final commitment. Male fives’ are a rover, hard to catch and keep. There is an inclination to flirt with members of the opposite sex and not be tied with emotional commitment. Success in relationships depends on how far your partner can accept the tendency to intellectualise relationships. Only after many experiences playing the field and tasting the honey, can you settle down to one love.

Love Number 6: You like bodily pleasures very much and due to this your health may be shattered. An afflicted Venus creates women of bad character who’s on the prowl for a prey. A strong Venus makes one attractive, magnetic, affable and expert in the art of love. Any unsettling external influence will upset your balance. Without a lover near you, you attract all the wrong people — usually just the opposite of those who could make you happy. Beware, this could go as far as attracting the criminal element. You become bitter when a relationship in which you invested time goes wrong.

Love Number 7: You often display a great degree of sensitivity, but this may hamper you in your search for a partner. You need to be more matter of fact, in matters of love. If you begin badly in love, you lose confidence rapidly making matters worse. If a woman, you tend to give a good deal, but also demand a great deal in return. If a male, you may marry someone ‘like your mother’ in a metamorphical sense, drawing an alliance with someone who has more emotional steel than yourself. Any relationship needs a lot of hard work to keep on even keel. You have a healthy sex drive, but you are more likely to be ruled by the emotions than the senses.

Love Number 8: In love you often find yourself swimming against the tide. Your preoccupation and ambition may damage your relationships. You need to forge an emotional bond with someone who is the same kind of power drive that you are. If the partner lacks the ambition and aggressive instinct that you admire you may end by rejecting the person through frustration or bitterness. You need to feel in control, but this may threaten your emotional security when carried too far. Given the right partner, you make a loyal mate.

Love Number 9: In your romantic dealings you have a lively, outgoing temperament which can devastatingly attractive. You have a lot to give and you too crave for plenty of affection. The problem with you is that you confuse sex and real affection, so you are vulnerable. You require repeated proof of real affection and emotional loyalty will not convince you that you have not been cheated in love.

Music Links

http://aquarium.lipetsk.ru/MESTA/mp3/indian/

http://anahata.kod812.ru/storage.htm

Sniffing for Love !

Finding your perfect match really is about the right chemistry, but it’s a complex equation, says Martie G Haselton in Sexual attraction: The magic formula, an article in American Scientist.

We spend a huge amount of time and energy trying to find that special someone. Our appetite for a relationship fuels a billion-pound industry of matchmaking services. Yet we’re often not satisfied. A 2005 survey of more than 900 people who had been using online dating services revealed that three-quarters had not found what they were looking for. We seem as much in the dark as ever about who is a suitable match.

The George Clooneys and Angelina Jolies of the world are sex symbols for predictable biological reasons. Of course, we don’t fall in love with super-mates like these. The average person who did would be headed nowhere, because super-mates are inaccessible to all but a few. This is likely to be part of the reason why love evolved: to bond us for co-operative child-rearing, but also to assist us in choosing, so that we don’t waste time and energy falling for someone who is unattainable. People tend to fall for others who, on attractiveness, intelligence and status, are of a similar ranking to themselves.

What about the less obvious cues of attraction? Fascinating work on genetics and mate preferences has shown that each of us will be attracted to people who possess a particular set of genes, known as the major histocompatibility complex (MHC), which plays a critical role in the ability to fight pathogens. Mates with dissimilar MHC genes produce healthier offspring with broad immune systems.

Evidence shows that couples tend to be less similar in their MHC than if they had been paired randomly. How do people who differ in their MHC find each other? Evidently, smell is an important cue. People literally sniff out their mates. In studies, people tend to rate the scent of T-shirts worn by others with dissimilar MHC as most attractive. This is what sexual ‘chemistry’ is all about.

The message here is: trust your instincts — except that there is an alarming exception. For women taking hormone contraceptives, the reverse is true: they prefer men whose MHC genes are similar to their own. Thus, women on the pill risk choosing a mate who is not genetically suitable (best to smell him first and go on the pill afterwards).

GET TO KNOW YOUR PARTNER

ARIES
+VES: Arians are naturally active and vibrant and tend to like such people too. You will have to increase your pace to be in step with them. Also, they like and appreciate frank and straightforward persons. So, with them you can be your true self. If you’re in love with an Arian, then you have to show your enthusiasm in all their activities.
–IVES: Do not tell the Arians that they are in the wrong. Any such statement may raise a storm in a teacup. Arians are very faithful and passionate lovers. Do not fan the smouldering fire within them by making them jealous. No flirtation or fooling around with others in their presence unless, of course, you wish to write your death-wish!

TAURUS
+VES: Stability and dependability characterise Taureans who like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner, you should appreciate all things beautiful. For, Taureans have an inherent artistic sense. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide with them.
–IVES: Taureans do not lose their temper easily. But you must not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. They can be suffocatingly possessive about you.

GEMINI
+VES: Members of this sign are highly intellectual. If you have a Gemini partner, you have to match your wits with him/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. Geminis want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. The key is to be more communicative with them.
–IVES: Geminis like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately, you are the type who is looking for some stability in life, you may get disappointed. But do not hold them back, as they are restless and need a constant change in life.

CANCER
+VES: Try to adapt yourself with the changing moods of a Cancerian, and understand their sensitivity. They are like the tides in the ocean, always fluctuating.
–IVES: Cancerians can get easily hurt. So do not play with their emotions and sentiments. They form emotional bonds with even inanimate things, so do not ask them to discard old caps or souvenirs. Do not contradict them, it would only lead to confusion.

LEO
+VES: If you have a Leo partner, respect him/her. It is the sign of a showman, so if your partner does everything in grand style, enjoy it. They fall easily for flattery and want to be the centre of attraction of all eyes.
–IVES: Never ever hurt the ego of a Leo. It is a sunny sign, so, Leos do not like people who are gloomy or depressed. Keep a sunny smile on your lips and let the lion kiss your worries away.

VIRGO
+VES: Virgos are very methodical and have a great sense of duty, but blind to their own faults. Take a keen interest in what they are doing and they will go out of their way to help you. Appreciate their mental powers rather than their physical ones.
–IVES: Do not push a Virgo into the limelight unless they do so on their own. They are shy and reserved by nature and do not like to be the cynosure of all eyes. Virgos have secrets that they would not like to bring out in the open.

LIBRA
+VES: Librans need peace and harmony in all their relationships. If you have a Libra for a partner, you can be sure to share beautiful and pleasurable moments together.
–IVES: A Libran is a kind and gentle soul but very argumentative. Hence, do not start an argument or discussion unless, of course, you are free and do not know how to pass your time. Have patience with them!

SCORPIO
+VES: Scorpios are full of passion and the zest for life. They are loyal and never forget a kind deed done by you. Share their passion and intensity and life can be beautiful with them.
–IVES: Scorpios are also fiercely possessive and would like to possess your mind, body and soul. Do not let the seeds of jealousy grow in them because, then, you may have to suffer discontentment in life. Scorpios have explosive tempers, so be warned.

SAGITTARIUS
+VES: Sagittarians are basically happy-golucky. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. Sagittarians are frank and straightforward, so if you want some truthful opinions about anything or anyone go to them.
–IVES: Sagittarians are fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restrictions. So, do not try to hold them back in life. Do not get irritated by the exaggeration they often indulge in.

CAPRICORN
+VES: Capricornians are strong and dependable. You can blindly put your money on them. They are practical and conservative in their outlook and they expect you to blend in their colour too. For them, social status is important.
–IVES: Do not expect a Capricornian mate to open his/her heart out to you. They are very secretive and reserved people. They are very thorough in all their affairs and hate any kind of sloppiness. They are also very tight-fisted.

AQUARIUS
+VES: Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have an in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. Once hooked, they will always be very faithful to you.
–IVES: Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. They can go into any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get bored easily. They can be detached and impersonal, which may seem strange to others.

PISCES
+VES: Pisceans are sensitive and charming. If you are looking for someone who is understanding, then you have met the right person. You should appreciate their feelings too. Members of this sign have a keenly developed sixth sense and have great intuitive powers. Their hunches may usually be right on the mark. They are born dreamers and you can build palaces with your dream lover.
–IVES: Pisceans are dreamers and you should not expect them to have worldly ambitions. They are not materialistic in nature. It is not that they like living below the poverty line but they have no earnest desire to accumulate wealth. Be careful about their feelings, these fishes are capable of drowning you in their tears (and this applies even to the men born under this sign).

Astro Spirituality

ARIES
Arians believe in the existence of God. They can be very devout believers. But their only problem can be that they want results very fast. They tend to lose patience quickly. An Arian needs to be more enduring and mature and they will achieve what they set out to achieve.

TAURUS
Taureans primarily think that God is the protector. He provides food, shelter and clothing for everyone. A Taurean always seeks peace and happiness for his family. They are good devotees and make good religious donations.

GEMINI
Geminis tend to be more philosophers rather than devotees. For them, questions like ‘Is there God?’ or ‘Who am I?’ can be life-long passions. They tend to be dual minded, indecisive and driven more by logic rather than love. They need to experience God in order to believe in him.

CANCER
They are the born bhakts of the zodiac. Their sensitivity keeps them close to God. Worshipping Krishna or Meera can make them happy and blissful. But they should not make religion an escape route for their personal problems.

LEO
Leos have an innate sense of morals and justice due to the Sun ownership. They can make very good gurus and mystics. Worshipping the sun or Suryanarayan can be beneficial.

VIRGO
Virgos are generally sceptical about the existence of a super power. But if convinced, they can be one of the most dedicated and devout devotees and spiritualists. If their questions are answered, their belief gets stronger.

LIBRA
Librans love God naturally. They feel that God resides in people and hence they try to please everybody. Their partner is their divine consort like Radha is for Krishna. They will be drawn towards Shiv and Shakti.

SCORPIO
One of the most mystic and misunderstood signs of the zodiac, Scorpio has enormous spiritual potential. They are gifted with passion that can be transformed into love for God. A Scorpion can be a very good tantrik and magician because he understands the power of the female or Shakti.

SAGITTARIUS
Ruled by Jupiter, they are naturally drawn to religion, spirituality and God. They are firm believers of mantra japa and donations. Chants of ‘Om’ or the Gayatri Mantra can be very beneficial for them.

CAPRICORN
They have their own unique way of believing in God. They do not follow and do not listen to what others feel or say about God. Mostly, they tend to believe that good deeds bring you closer to God rather than elaborate pujas and ceremonies.

AQUARIUS
They have a unique and undefinable relationship with the Almighty. They tend to look for God in nature, in science and in the cosmos. They tend to believe in the old hermetic saying: As above, so below.

PISCES
Pisceans have their eccentricities with regards to religion and spirituality. They tend to be very fastidious about their belief system and do not want to disturb it. But at heart, they are God-fearing and strongly believe in the law of karma.

Date with rape...

No words can define it. It’s something so great —- only God could design it. It’s ever-enduring and so kind, it judges all things with the heart, not the mind. And love can transform the most commonplace into beauty, splendour, sweetness and grace... Yes, Love is beyond what man can define, for love is immortal and Divine...

Shalini doesn’t believe in it anymore. When fantasy gets a thud from reality, when dreams are crushed by the destiny, where do you find an abode to rest in peace? Enshrouded in gloom, the ever disconsolate heart had been groping her way out of the dark shadows of life. Shalini Mehta (name changed), a 20-year-old college-goer, had been raped by her partner, twice during their college fest. Here’s an account of her pathos.

Hip-pocket had come to perform in our campus that evening. The music was loud. Everyone was caught in an invisible web of euphoria. We were sitting in one of the classrooms on the second floor. My partner (I don’t want to reveal his name, neither do I want to call him by any other name) always avoided people. To put it in the other words, he was a bit introvert. Spoke very little, and had a selected group of friends. His subject was mathematics, and was very good at calculations. When he dragged me up the stairs into the biology lab, I couldn’t comprehend his motive. Well, he had clear perception about life and exactly knew what he wanted. I just loved him. I believed him more than I had faith in me. I agreed to what he said.

There was an unprecedented joy in submission. I could feel the pang of desire, running through my veins, yet it was an eerie feeling. It was as if I could hear the call of my conscience. No, what was I doing? My morals, my values stood in front of me. My cold blood, the warmth, my wet yet shaky lips, I was giving in. I was drowning. I couldn’t but restrain myself. It was darkness everywhere. An uncanny silence prevailed. The band had completed their show by then. I stood up. I wanted to leave the room. But I was stopped. He held me in a vice like grip and dragged me on to the ground. He was all over me. I cried for help, yet I couldn’t, because I loved him. I looked at him. Tears ran down my cheeks. There were bruises all over my face. I could feel a pain down my legs and was unable to get up.

Why did you do this to me? I asked him. But albeit, didn’t get any reply, I wanted to hold his hand and recline on his shoulders. I wanted to give myself completely to him, but perhaps not in this manner. Yet after all this I couldn’t stop loving him. I wanted to go home and requested him to give me a lift back. But it was all in vain. He caressed me, took me in his arms. I closed my eyes. Consoled my lost spirits. Perhaps this is called love? The storm was replaced by an blissful quietitude.

Oh God! It was not the end. There’s more to the story. He did it again. I pleaded for help. Mercy ... albeit, no one was there to hear my cries. For a second, I felt, he didn’t love me. If he would have, then he would’ve exercised restraint. The respect of being a girl. Did he love my soul? He was perhaps more crazy about my curves, my ‘vital statistics’. I realised that wasn’t love making. I was raped. Yes, I was raped twice.

My body was no more pure. I lost my innocence. I couldn’t get out of bed for the next fortnight. I couldn’t take myself out of my room. The walls seemed to close in on me. I couldn’t stand in front of the mirror for long. I severed all contacts with him. Yet, I had the inner drive to prove myself. I started regaining my lost faith. Believed in my values, that taught me to smile again. I lost my virginity. Yet I am pure at heart and soul. No one could erase the purity from my soul. I am still a virgin.

Astrology Personified !!

Bad in bed? Blame it on your zodiac...

Life is full of strange stigmas and phenomenon especially when it comes to problems related to holy matrimony. While some might have to wait for a decade for getting married; others might be going through a bad marriage. Yet, another class of people are those who’ve been married early and have handsome life partners but unable to enjoy it, either due to the lack of sex, psychological problems or organic defect. Leave aside the medical theory, there is astro logic to pinpoint the cause of this tragedy, which spoils the life of the other partner, who is pretty responsive and yearns for pleasures. While in a man, this maybe the failure to perform, while in women it maybe frigidity or psychological apprehensions to take part. Mercury and Saturn are two important planets to consider, if these are connected with the seventh sign of zodiac, Libra, seventh house from ascendant as well from Venus and Moon, they cause impotency in a man; as the person concerned shall not be able to have natural erection. In such a case, the position of Venus has already been emphasised. Venus within one degree of another planet is defeated in the planetary fight and hence loses its vitality. Necessary vibrations are crushed as a result. When Venus is combust, a woman might lose much of her power; unless it’s exalted and well protected in the chart.

The eighth house also provides vital information in this regard. If Jupiter and Saturn are connected with the eighth house, it is oversized and lanky. Fiery planets associated with them might be able to create vitality undoubtedly.

Saturn combination in the eighth house is least desirable for a happy sex life. For Capricorn and Aquarius ascendants, Saturn in first house, accepted by Mars and ketu could be the cause of coldness and inactivity. Eighth house falling in Gemini or Virgo and ketu-Saturn are found together there. Mercury in Pisces is identical to eighth house and might cause impotency.

When the ascendant and moon is under the sign of Taurus or Libra, sexual vibrations in a person are likely to be zero and thus it incapacitates to perform sexually. Lord of seventh situated in the sixth, with Mars and Mercury posited in the twelfth, one is unable and apprehensive to approach his/her mate for any gaming in bed.

The eighth cusp falling in Napuanskansh ie. impotency; there cannot be a worst combination than this. For a partner, you’re a liability. Persons do not divorce at all and in permissive society where sex before marriage is just an ordinary thing, you are known as an impotent person. Even marriage happens by a compulsion and it breaks up very quickly. Venus and ascendant lord or first cusp falling in that degree is a guarantee for non-performance.