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She proposes he disposes...

Love him? Then go and get him. But wait, are you sure the guy is going to like it if you pop the question? Confused? But that’s the truth. Men might give a dozen lectures about possessing a liberal mindset. They can act as if they have no problems accepting a woman making the first move to speak her mind out to the man of her choice. But when it comes to reality it’s a different story altogether. Says 22-year-old Anirban Chatterjee, “Girls ought to have certain feminine characteristics. And that gets spoilt when she makes the first move to propose to the man of her life. Men like them to be coy, slightly frail and also vulnerable.” For Sourav Roy, however, it’s the ego factor that works and that’s why the whole idea repulses him. He said, “Girls should be like girls. So what if we are in the modern age? Have we forgotten our traditions? Till date it’s the groom who takes the bride to his home. Similarly, there are certain man things and women should stay away from such matters.” Men feel proposing has deeper connotations, though. “Most of the girls have a tendency to take help from their friends to disclose their feelings to the boy. Whereas when a guy proposes to a girl, he always thinks of innovative ways and that tends to make the whole thing so romantic and memorable. But girls fail to do that for the simple reason that they neither can be straightforward nor can they hide their shyness. As a result they mess up the whole thing. So it’s better for them to stay away from such practices,” explains Ankur Biswas, a college student. For some men, however, it’s their possessiveness that stops them from sharing the practice with women. “Men are the ones who invented the practice of proposing ladies in various styles. It’s a form of art and we are the sole proprietors of it. Hence we cannot think of passing the baton to women. Women have various other fields to excel in, like cooking, looking after their husband and children. Let them excel there. Just as we do not intrude in their territory, they must also avoid doing so,” quipped Abhishek Ganguly, creative head of a multinational company. These might be some of the primary reasons why guys dislike girls taking the first initiative to speak out their mind, are still more reasons can be explored. Sometimes it’s also the fear factor that works in them. What fear? Well, what if she later says that the man in her life did not have the courage to go to her to say that he loved her? And she was the one who did everything for the relationship. “Later on when we have the fights I can’t imagine being told that I didn’t have the guts to propose her. Moreover, I have a feeling, that girls who propose tend to be of a domineering type, for they feel they are the ones who have given birth to the relationship and have raised it to the present status,” summed up Kunal Ghosh, an MBA student. Although there are plenty of women who will swear by the fact that they have taken the first initiative and it has worked, but it is also a fact that most men feel more awkward and bewildered if women pop the question. There’s no denying that.

Let your body do the talking...

How men can read body language to understand their women better


One of the most common problems men face with women is that of ‘understanding’. Women seem to understand men without much difficulty, men either send out the wrong signals or wrongly interpret incoming signals. Here are some things men should look for when trying to read the signals coming from the fair sex:

Moving in groups
Women like to hunt in packs. The next time you look at the groups of gossiping women, take note of their posture. If they are huddled in a closed circle, speaking under their breaths, it’s a no-no. However, if you see a circle where an opening has been left, or if the group forms a V or horseshoe shape, that would be a clear indication for you to close in and make your move.

Eye Contact
Catching someone’s eye is often the first step to getting lucky. Before making any rash moves, make sure it’s you she is looking at and not someone else. A woman might be in deep conversation with her mate, but if she’s subtly scanning the place, she’s looking to find something more, that’s when you make your grand entry.

The way you move
If a woman walks past you every five minutes, it means she is interested, so stop her and introduce yourself. However, if she’s flying past you without a glance, she probably just needs to visit the loo. Dancing is another good way to gauge whether or not you might get lucky. If she’s dancing close to you, and her body posture is open, it’s all good.

Reading different body parts
If a woman tilts her head slightly while glancing at you, it could mean a happy ending. The neck is a vulnerable area, and by her exposing it to you, she is signalling that she might learn to trust you. Also, how a woman smiles at you or walks can help you decide if she is approachable or not. When a smile causes a thick lined crease on each of the cheeks, it is a genuine one.

The seven circles of dating hell

How men can ensure their women don’t walk out on them


Ever wonder why after you have stuck with your woman through the tough times and put up with all the crazy things she does, she still leaves you. More and more men are losing their women, even though they give all of themselves to the relationship. Strangely enough this could be the very reason why the women are walking out. The following is a list of the 7 Deadly Sins of Dating, which you can avoid in order to ensure that your woman does not walk out on you.

1. Don’t come on strong
A woman knows when you are coming on strong, and chances are that she will either interpret it as desperation, or use it to manipulate you later on in the relationship. You don’t want to give her the impression that she is the best you can do. Let her know that you care about her and that she is special to you; just don’t start worshipping her right out of the gate.

2. Don’t become whipped
A woman needs a strong man that can take control of a situation. If you come across as an easily controlled mama’s boy, then she’ll probably never respect you. Make sure not to lose your identity. You are who you are and once she thinks that she can take that away, you will be reduced to a boy toy that she can shoot orders at whenever she likes.

3. Don’t lose control
Being the man, you should initially start out with the overall control of the relationship and do whatever it takes to maintain it. Once you lose control, chances are she will expect you to spend less and less time with your friends. But since your buddies are an outlet for anger generated by your relationship, you need to keep them around if you want to maintain a healthy life, not to mention your sanity.

4. Don’t lose confidence
If a woman does not have faith in your abilities as a man, then she will begin to lose the attraction that she once had for you. So make sure to hold your head up high at all times.

5. Don’t make sex boring
If your sex life becomes boring and predictable, the whole relationship will become boring. If she is always wondering what you are going to do to her next in bed, then she has no reason to fantasise about anyone else. Try surprising her by actually following through on some of her sexual fantasies.

6. Don’t become jealous
It’s one thing to want your woman all to yourself, it’s another to become madly jealous and loose rationality. If she had a couple of male friends before you began dating, then there is no real reason to get all worked up over it. What’s acceptable in your relationship is up to both of you, so don’t become too bossy or she will just use that as yet another reason to always be on your case.

7. Don’t talk too much
When she says that she wants to know everything you’re thinking, she is wrong. That might be what she thinks she wants, but learn to be discreet. When she asks if you were looking at another woman, deny it, or better yet, say, “What woman?” No matter what you do, maintain spontaneity and use common sense, and you should be okay. Women don’t want boring guys who don’t think before they act. And remember; you have to be ready to adapt these basic ideas to any given situation in a moment’s notice. If you begin to question how you should react in a certain plight, just try to figure out which one of the commandments is best suited to the situation and adapt it. If it doesn’t work, don’t worry; there are plenty of women out there, just make sure you find the one that is right for you.

Step Aside, you are just a buddy...

Step aside! You are just a buddy
You may want to be more than ‘just a friend,’ but sometimes you need to back off


You’ve managed to lure a hot lady into your personal breathing space. Does she want to get intimate? Or are you in a danger of being branded as her “friend?” Here are some telltale signs that indicate she’s not romantically interested in you.

Ill at ease
Where there’s no tension, there’s no romance. A woman who is trying to curry your favour will be intently interested in everything you say and do. In turn, this will lead to a certain amount of suspense. Her nerves will show themselves in her behaviour. So if she’s at ease around you, that’s not necessarily a good thing.

Where’s the laughter
A sense of humour usually tops a woman’s attraction wish list. The importance of making a woman laugh cannot be overstated. If she’s not laughing, the two of you are not getting anywhere; it’s as simple as that. If she really is interested romantically, she’ll laugh at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Other women
When a single woman talks about your prospects with other females, she is shifting your attention away from herself and on to other hapless victims. If you’re at a party with your target and she leans in close only to ask,
“She’s cute isn’t she?” chances are
you’re in friend-land.

No submission
When you hang out with her, do you always find yourself at women’s clothing and shoe stores? When was the last time she watched a Star Wars movie or been to the car show with you? An interested woman will always seek out ways to please and at least cater to some of your manly interests.

She uses the F-word
No, not the good F-word. The word uses is much nastier: Friends! If a woman addresses you with the word “friend,” you are dead in the water!

Public space
If she isn’t interested in you, she certainly would not like it if anyone mistakenly thinks that she is. Accordingly, she will avoid being seen “coupled up” with you at classic date spots and not meet you in public. If she rejects all your invitations to the coffee shop, the bar, dinner and the movies, you’re most likely barking up the wrong tree.