Do men believe in platonic relationships?
Is a male-female friendship bound for a romantic end, no matter what? Just how close can you get without physical attraction?
We all remember the line from When Harry Met Sally where Harry said that men and women can never be friends because sex always gets in the way — and it turned out to be true for him. But away from the movies and in the real world, how much truth is there in what he said?
• Fancying your friend
Relationship counsellors are of the view that men and women can be friends, but warn them that they should be aware that at some stage one of them will wonder what it would be like to be physically intimate. This will be a passing thought which shouldn’t affect the friendship. And don’t deny it, girls! There’s nothing wrong with fancying your friend — in just a friendly way, of course.
• Flirty fun
One way you can acknowledge your feelings without having to rush into anything serious is simply to flirt with your friend — providing they’re flirty themselves. “But don’t flirt with someone who’s shy — he may be holding back feelings of desire for you and you’ll be leading him on and just confusing him. If he’s a great flirt, then you can both play the game and have some fun,” writes Peta Heskell, in her book Flirt Coach’s Secrets Of Attraction. If it’s fun you’re after — flirting will do the trick. “It’s a great way to flex your feminine muscle and feel wanted,” added Peta. If you’re honest and open about your intentions — making sure your mate doesn’t mistake your flirting for anything more. Make sure you understand each other’s boundaries and, if you think he might be crossing the line, remind him that you’re ‘just flirting’.
• Tread carefully
If it’s the girl who’s crossing the line, then watch out! If you flirt, use some “emotional intelligence” and adjust your flirtometer according to the situation and the man in question. The last thing you want to do is get yourself in an awkward situation with a good friend— or worse still, get an earful from his partner!
• Love tests
At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with flirting in moderation, and between some people it’s completely normal not to fancy each other — flirting doesn’t suit every relationship. But, if you’re hanging out with someone in the hope that one day they’ll see the light and realise you’re “the one,” the friendship will suffer.
We all remember the line from When Harry Met Sally where Harry said that men and women can never be friends because sex always gets in the way — and it turned out to be true for him. But away from the movies and in the real world, how much truth is there in what he said?
• Fancying your friend
Relationship counsellors are of the view that men and women can be friends, but warn them that they should be aware that at some stage one of them will wonder what it would be like to be physically intimate. This will be a passing thought which shouldn’t affect the friendship. And don’t deny it, girls! There’s nothing wrong with fancying your friend — in just a friendly way, of course.
• Flirty fun
One way you can acknowledge your feelings without having to rush into anything serious is simply to flirt with your friend — providing they’re flirty themselves. “But don’t flirt with someone who’s shy — he may be holding back feelings of desire for you and you’ll be leading him on and just confusing him. If he’s a great flirt, then you can both play the game and have some fun,” writes Peta Heskell, in her book Flirt Coach’s Secrets Of Attraction. If it’s fun you’re after — flirting will do the trick. “It’s a great way to flex your feminine muscle and feel wanted,” added Peta. If you’re honest and open about your intentions — making sure your mate doesn’t mistake your flirting for anything more. Make sure you understand each other’s boundaries and, if you think he might be crossing the line, remind him that you’re ‘just flirting’.
• Tread carefully
If it’s the girl who’s crossing the line, then watch out! If you flirt, use some “emotional intelligence” and adjust your flirtometer according to the situation and the man in question. The last thing you want to do is get yourself in an awkward situation with a good friend— or worse still, get an earful from his partner!
• Love tests
At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with flirting in moderation, and between some people it’s completely normal not to fancy each other — flirting doesn’t suit every relationship. But, if you’re hanging out with someone in the hope that one day they’ll see the light and realise you’re “the one,” the friendship will suffer.
posted by Vivek Panda @ 8:13 AM
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